When the original Pirates of the Caribbean came out, Curse of the Black Pearl, it was the talk of the high school halls. Being a teen in the 00’s, or just being a teen in general, I just believed something that everyone loved couldn’t be good. It just felt good to say I hadn’t seen it, that I wasn’t participating, like some kind of counterculture badge. When Dead Man’s Chest was released in ‘06, I was past all that jaded mess and on to college, an era when I didn’t have time to go to the theater as often, especially for sequels to films I had never seen, so I missed this one too. Then came At World’s End in ‘07 where in a series of misfired planned gatherings, a small group persuaded me to see the third installment. Let me tell you, I was blown away by the sheer size and magnitude of the lore alone, not to mention the number sets and locations and monsters and effects. Afterwards I watched them in reverse order, just for fun, seeing the first film last, and I was impressed that it felt almost as big despite having much less. I had to eat my teenage words; this was an impressive film series.

However, somehow I lost faith that they could ever make anything following the 3rd entry as good despite, to my understanding, that it is liked the least. So I skipped On Stranger Tides after friends had told me it wasn’t very good. Finally, with the release of Dead Men Tell No Tales, I decided to dive back in, primarily because I heard some of the main cast had been reunited. Also to a lesser extent because I heard Johnny Depp wears an earpiece so his lines could be fed to him as he goes. It was just a curious concept. So, after all of that, how was it?

Well, I feel like my personal story was more interesting than this film. And it isn’t because the film was bad but because it really didn’t offer anything new. The plot is pretty simple. Jack is having a run of bad luck and his crew can’t seem to pull of any good plunders, so they call it quits and leave him. Meanwhile Henry Turner, in effort to save his dad Will Turner from the curse of the Flying Dutchman, sets out to find the Trident of Poseidon, a mythical spear that can break any curse. By coincidence, Turner is recruited by a young woman, Carina Smyth, an astronomer and horologist who is being hunted as a witch, to help her solve a map that man can not read using his knowledge of ancient texts. Jack becomes involved when he is cursed after giving up his compass for a bottle of rum. It turns out the compass shows you whatever you desire, but if you willingly give it up, it will curse you with the thing you fear the most, which turns out is an old Spanish navy captain he doomed to the devils triangle in his youth. Ok, so its not too simple, but considering this is the 5th entry, it isn’t so hard to follow, even without the other films.

It doesn’t really build on the lore, it is more like an aside. The comedy isn’t stale, but the delivery has become a bit overused, especially in the case of Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow. Javier Bardem’s villain, the undead cursed Captain Salazar, was a welcome addition, but in everything but name is just a rehash of Geoffrey Rush’s Captain Barbossa from the original outing. All roads lead to Jack in this series, which is fun, but there are some other surprises to be had in this film for fans, even though they may be well trodden tropes. Kaya Scodelario stands out as Carina Smyth, especially against the bland Brenton Thwaites as Henry Turner, son of Orlando Bloom’s Will Turner. She keeps pace in the series where Keira Knightley left off.

This was a bit of a contrived, by-the-numbers sequel that could have been done a lot better and bigger. It has some fun ideas, like undead shark torpedoes, but it feels uninspired. Dead Men Tell No Tales plays it a bit too safe and doesn’t live up to the original trilogy, but it also isn’t boring either. It just feels lacking. If you are a fan of the series, you might feel a little let down, but if you just need some fun entertainment, your wallet won’t feel plundered.

~* 6.5/10 *~