There are certain moments in life that must appear to everyone around you as an auspicious occasion. Such an occasion occurred to screenwriter and author Ernest Cline when the megaton bombshell landed. Steven Spielberg, the man whose films fueled the background of the very novel that marks this very occasion, decided to make your book a movie. Ready Player One was scooped up and sold almost as soon as it was released, from what I understand, but it took 7 years to cobble together a release. In part because of the sheer volume of licenses required to undertake such a grandiose vision. A world made up of every childhood fantasy found in film, video games, books, and comics dating back to the mid-70’s. If there was one man that could conjure up enough Hollywood mojo to obtain every lisence for every major and minor characters over the years, Spielberg is it. Now, I could talk about the differences between the film and the book, its strangely single-minded, layer-less prose, or its paper thin characters, or the fact that it probably didn’t deserve to become the single biggest gaming/film/book/comic mashup film in history (or at least since Wreck-It Ralph). I assure you this review will stick to the movie. And obviously, I didn’t have the greatest experience with the book, but I had to wonder, what magic did Spielberg have left up his sleeve? After all, I am the only one I know that liked Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Ready Player One has an enormous amount of potential, all but ready to be unlocked by a steady hand and ingenious mind. The Berg made one of the best choices possible and almost completely divorcing the plot from its smaller details, but in doing so he opens up a completely different box. By far, this feels like one of the least well thought out projects he has ever undertaken. His lightest, and earliest films measure far ahead of this. Films like E.T. are delicately balanced, with honest characters and realistic backdrops. Ready Player One however, is much less delicate, less deep, and ultimately much less affecting. But, it doesn’t appear that the purpose of this movie was in any way meant to touch anyone. RPO is a toy box. A treasure chest of the imagination with a thin plot that keeps our character moving through the world so we can see ourselves playing in an environment where everyone is a nerd, a geek, involved in the digital, obsessed with trivia, and a winner, even when you are the loser. I just can’t say this in any way makes up for how lackluster the film ends up being.

In the past, a similar situation had happened, although much smaller, and with much less commercial success. The Wachowski’s ventured to Australia and made a little film called Speed Racer. When I heard Hollywood was making a live action Speed Racer from the very same team that made The Matrix, I was ecstatic. It was only when the trailer hit that my heart sank. It looked nothing like its source material. It was then that a vowed not to see or support it. I judged the book by its cover. A year after its release, at a viewing friends had scheduled to discuss on their podcast, I finally was stuck in the same room with it. I tried to continue working on my laptop, eager to ignore it, but it was impossible. I couldn’t look away. It was brilliant. It somehow captured the heart of the series without ever looking anything like it. Ready Player One shirks this concept in favor of pure flash and awe. It captures nothing about any of the memorabilia it employs. It feels disingenuous and at most points doesn’t resemble anything in Spielberg’s catalog. But could that be a good thing?

Well, in a way, once you free yourself of trying to meet the insurmountable expectations of each group of fans from every camp, including those of the book, you are truly free to make anything you want. You get to play with your building blocks any way you want. The problem with this method is its hard to imagine what someone else is imagining. As I watched the blandly realized  avatars of our heroes, Parzival (Tye Sheridan), Art3mis (Olivia Cooke), and Aech (Lena Waithe), there is never a connection made. They just kind of flail around on the screen, shoving solutions down our throats to problems we haven’t even had a chance to digest. On the flip side, when our characters are in reality, Wade, Samantha, and H, are much more, well, real. These moments are the where most of classic Spielberg is instantly recognizable. Where he has a real camera in his hands, maneuvering around real people, and while most of these scenes are not very interesting on their own, they do live in a real, vibrant world. However, there is one amazing moment that recalls the dual directed A.I. but turns into a unique homage to Stanley Kubrick, a true highlight of the film. I would say that the atmosphere is much better directed then any of the people interacting with it. This is because they are simply lame skins of your favorite characters. They show up, maybe with a catchphrase and then poof, they’re gone.

This was a tough call for me. I did have fun watching the movie, but that’s about it. I have fun watching plenty of other bad films. This was unique opportunity backed by a powerful legend and yet it fails to even look as good as some of his worst work. It’s hard not to compare. Blockbuster was, supposedly, coined in reference to Spielberg’s works, dating back to Jaws. While Jaws represents this term at its best, surely Ready Player One represents it at its worst. And for all of that, it’s still not the worst thing to go and see. It’s just a fun and mildly engrossing film with intermittent glimmers of genius brought to you by a giant as some kind of knee jerk reaction to YA fiction adaptations and the age old story of a young man from nothing trying to save the world. I honestly urge you to catch this while it’s in theaters, because it really does shine when it’s big, but I feel that most of its luster will be lost by the time it makes it into your home.

~* 7/10 *~